having to go to soooo much effort .... just to keep yourself from feeling miserable .... will make you miserable

 If your goals are unachievable to such an extent, maybe it's time to re-prioritize and come up with new goals.

Personally, I don't really care when people disagree or dislike aspects of who I am, and I only bother being around those who do appropriate me, so I suppose I can't relate to someone seemingly caring a lot about how others perceive and interact with them.

nice.

i shouldnt have to treat my life like a fight in a video game, only to be 'just fine' ygm?

Yeah I agree, n life's unfair like that. But it's still better than being miserable. 

true to a certain extent, but trust me on this, with my own experience, the way other people interact with these 'unchangeable things' will definitely control your life 

I suppose that's true, but I feel like it's definitely possible to find ways to succeed just fine despite those specific reactions. Play up your strengths and find ways to use said strengths to bypass the problems caused by your weaknesses. 

on the contrary, you will always worry about that something only because it can't be changed. no one walks into college 'forgetting' they have no friends,or that they're ugly, or dumb or w/e.

they worry for days, weeks , months even about the impact this will have for the rest of their lives

I'll argue, from my own experience, that whether or not to worry about something is a choice. You decide to place that emotional importance on it, you decide to dwell on it, you decide to feel sorry for yourself because of it, and in the end you're just packing the negative emotions associated with those thoughts stronger n thicker. 

The impact of things you can't change only control your lives as much as you let them. 

urgh

Yeah yeah, I know. But if something can't be changed, and dwelling on it doesn't make anything better, than it's best not to worry about it at all yea? Since it won't help you to drown in your own self loathing. 

I don't play games much anymore, but generally speaking I very much liked Fallout 3/NV, Metro 2033, n State of Decay-- I like apocalyptic themes in games. 

These days, if I do play, I'm usually just hopping on Minecraft, Don't Starve Together, Borderlands 2, or Portal 2.

Just because I mostly just play multiplayer stuff these days. 

there are many things that can make someone depressed, or upset for prolonged periods of time, most of which can't be changed:

death of a family member/friend

terminal illness

being ugly/unattractive

lacking social skills

being unintelligent

its more the realisation that these can't be changed which makes a man more depressed, than not having the positive mindset to want to change these things

In those cases, forgive yourself for being human and accept that many, many people share the same flaws/problems as you do. Focus on your positives rather than your negatives.

ive waited 12 yrs already, hence why i believe that the "it gets better" line is utter BS

Aye, I tried therapy several months ago n even that seemed like complete BS to me. Dude said I couldn't be helped because I didn't "want to change", but didn't give me any ideas on how I could learn to want better things.

Gotta keep in mind that mental health is still in the dark ages, therapy is more of an art than a science, and different things work for different people.

Where one person may be able to just do what they like n feel better in time, others may have to take large steps to completely scrape clean their personality n start all over-- which doesn't sound easy, and certainly isn't easy to do.

I'd say it's all about mindset. I'm cynical and introverted n selfish, I'm glad to be left alone unless someone's kissin my ass, and I don't feel any desire to change my ways and become a 'good hearted loving person' as society would expect me to be. But my focus, now, has been on exploring why I feel the way I do, and where that perceptions of my thoughts is comin from. Asking friends and family how they feel in certain situations to understand how other perspectives work. Gotta do your homework.

I've been depressed since I was... shit, like 11 years old? It's been a while for me too. Waiting for things to change absolutely hasn't made anything better, n in fact my self neglect has further damaged my psyche and place in life. 

TLDR if waiting for time to do a magic cure all doesn't solve shit, you got your work cut out for ya, but it doesn't mean change is impossible so keep yer chin up. 

 

you sure about that?

If you're tellin yourself it'll never be better, then you're setting yourself up for a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure. CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) is one of the most common therapy techniques, I think, for depression. Essentially it's teachin yourself to let go of negative thoughts and perceptions, n look at things in a more positive (or at least a hopefully objective) manner. Instead of thinkin "I hate my life, I wanna die", for example, you'd wanna correct to somethin like "I'm not feeling good for the time being and I'm not fully enjoying life, but maybe it'll be better tomorrow". 

But then again, I ghosted my therapist, so what do I know? All I remember is him tellin me to come up with "creative solutions" to my issues (whatever that means) and sayin I shouldn't erect walls that needlessly prevent me from gettin better. 

I'm not a terribly strong willed person n much too disgusted by the world, personally, to actually make steps towards recovery just because of my own warped perception of the world around me. That's not the case for most though. 

In my entirely-not-an-expert opinion, you gotta think about what you normally do, accept that it ain't workin whether you're judging thoughts or actions, and carve out new paths for yourself. Try new things, pick up new hobbies, try and look at everything from a shifted POV compared to your usual. 
 

Or, as others (I think) said, see a therapist who can give ya better advice. 

Some that I've liked recently;

- Erased

- Psychopass 

- Noragami

- Plastic Memories

- Monster

- Tokyo Magnitude 8.0

- Your Lie in April

Some that I liked when I was younger;

- Assassination Classroom

- Princess Jellyfish

- Yu Yu Hakusho

- Darker than Black

- Ano Hana

- Toradora

- Watamote

- Welcome to the NHK

I'm new here. I'm pretty tech illiterate ngl, so I'm not sure if there's anything I can contribute. I always forget how to even reformat my PC. What can I do for y'all so I'm not a useless leech? I wouldn't mind doin things to help out, but I honestly can't think of anything useful I could contribute. I have been making a point to upvote useful posts. 
Quick question, how old of a thread can I post in before it's considered gravedigging on this forum? Notably in the entertainment area, those boards appear to be pretty slow.

I'm a NSFW digital artist, introverted, n I tend to make an ass of myself in social spaces. Usually I spend my free time just chatting with people on discord while watching youtube or binge watching whatever shows catch my attention. 

Sorry I don't have much else to say, I always suck at making general introduction threads. 

thank