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I m 24 year old person from India, I m tired of living my miserable life and I can't be depressed anymore. My whole life was just very miserable and full or pain, suffering and anxiety, I got only abuse and hate from family who doesn't care about me whether I live or die.
I m 24 and waiting for death, I feel like I will die within months and it is sure. This time I can't be able to save myself, it is much.
I m tired of living so miserable life with so many mental disorders. I didn't achieve anything in life, I m just stuck in room for every day of my life and have never even seen any beautiful rays of sunshine in my life, there was nothing beautiful in my life/
Maybe this was my fate to die miserable that is why I got only pain and a miserable life.
everything is doomed. and destined to end miserably. There is nothing left.
while I have so many relatives and cousins so live so beautiful life in so beautiful countries with loving and caring people in New Zealand, Canada. they were blessed because they easily get the opportunity. They have everything in life, living and growing in those countries with so loving, beautiful caucasian people and living best quality of life while I'm dying every in depression and mental attacks. They never helped me and never ask me, they are very selfish and hateful, only help their own family and friends. there are so many people from asia and my own country who got there and live so beautiful lives in those countries in america, canada, europe, aus, they were lucky and blessed, they have supportive parents and so much in life, I was not even 1% lucky and my life a curse.
it was also my dream to live a beautiful better peaceful life in a better environment with loving caring people but it was not in my fate. Only a few people from around the world get the opportunity to live such beautiful lives.
I wish I could also see beautiful places, oceans, snow so many things, but I never got that, and have a beautiful loving caucasian girlfriend and live with her but it was impossible, I never even felt peace and love in my life and I dying for everything every moment of my life and I can't die anymore. I m really so tired of everything.
I wish I good and lucky enough to have good parents who could care about me and send me to study in those countries but only a few people get such wealthy supportive parents, it deeply hurts me whenever I watch other people from my country who living studying, workiing in those countries with such loving people in beautiful places https://www.youtube....djx-NPLw/videos
they share every moment of their beautiful lives, I wish I also could get those moments in my life and share and feel happy and blessed one time in my life but my life is destined to end miserably.
I wish I was also blessed in life like Indians and asian people who have supportive parents, who easily get everything in life but god didn't bless me and only give me curse in life.
I have so many metal disorders like extreme level of depression, agoraphobia, social anxiety. I feeling like my life is destined to end this way and I can't stop it. I feeling very afraid of death. my parents are also very abusive, they also want me dead, everybody want me dead.
I don't know what will happen after death, I don't know if god exists or not but I hope he will forgive me.
Edited by JuniorMan, 01 September 2019 - 12:18 PM.
