Guys...
What is love?
A mutual inspiration / commiseration kind of thing. Think of it like symbiosis.
It's been known in various botanist and endosymbiotic circles that the mitochondrion acted a certain type of oxidative mechanisms unavailable to the bigger, more complex eukaryotic cells. This happened before the Cambrian explosion. It seems that in our free-flowing world, one such cell ATP powerhouse was gobbled right up... by a bigger cell! It's a sad story. Being encapsulated in a foreign body and slowly integrated towards eons of carefully engineered evolution to fight off the outward world through various inflammatory cycles and phospholipid transfers... these little guys became more integrated, more embedded into us after every single generation. Eventually, it was rooted so deeply into our nature, this cooperation went smoothly on and on and our organism could be focused on building other things...
Think of relationships similarly. A while back, I met a black woman with big, dark eyes. I'm no King of small talk, I'll be the first one to admit. Lots of mental chatter and stones pile up in the soul as one grows up; sadness pools here and there. And for a while, as I was immersed - indeed, lost in my work for a good decade, I felt that excruciating realization of loss, the "I will die alone" kind of thing, deeply. I know I'm rambling, I'm so very sorry, and no; I'm not in the middle of an existential crisis, haha, those heart stings vanished once I tightened up my sleep schedule. The point is, whenever I was in the presence of this lady, whom I will thereupon call "Emilia", I fell in a deep trance of relaxation. The dialogue was natural, shifting very smoothly... Those were some of my more polished social interactions, haha. There was a certain sense of satisfaction, perhaps Primal in spirit, and I simply warmed up to her, and talked some more. That's implicit cooperation. Now, I've not been in touch with Emilia for a while, but as far as love is concerned, the heart wants what it wants. Let your mind be all the more wise when that passion churns out fiercely. A tint of awkwardness is natural, yes. But your mind should feel at peace with your decision, and your gut too. It's too instinctual to truly define, but it certainly "is", and for you to take heed, it waves back. Follow it, but don't be stupid; don't fall into common pitfalls. This thing is a castle, rock to be built on with time, that gets stronger and sturdier along the former's curve.
Don't consume your "love". Don't become emotionally dependent, either, for that which is most precious, cast in a foregone spotlight, is what'll burn the most when it'll be taken away. Rather, nourish it everyday, like a house plant.
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